Often times we hear people say “Love conquers all”.. Really?.. But why do people marry and later divorce?..why do people fall in love with the “right” persons and yet to do not get to marry them?.. Do you still think love is all you need when selecting a marriage partner?

well! Love often doesn’t last forever. Sometimes people love each other so much, but are not compatible enough to make a marriage work. Choosing a life partner is the biggest decision you’ll ever make in life.. Its no simple endeavor, and most seem unaware of how big a deal the decision actually is.

Of course Love plays a major role in a striving relationship… but I think that the toughest thing is finding a person that is compatible with us. I believe those that are already in a relationship knows that love over sometimes fade.

You can love someone deeply but it doesn’t mean that they are good for you or you are meant to be together in that capacity. Most people don’t think they’ll get divorced. Everybody assumes that  their current or future marriage will last forever. But when you’re choosing a life partner, you’re cementing a lot of details in just one decision.

Love is an emotional thing…as adults we have all kinds of emotions we encounter on a daily basis. it doesn’t mean all of our emotions are correctly directed the way they should be. Two people can love each other very much but might not be good for each other..  There are a lot of  “Little” things that people think are petty but can be the things to later on, make or break a relationship. you can definitely love a person but not be compatible with them..

Just as one can love meat so much, but would have to stay away from it due to doctor’s advice.. He or she might love meat that much, but it’s certainly not good for their health.. So is marriage,  not everybody you love or loves you is meant to be your life partner.

That’s why as Muslims we are advised to perform Istikhara before deciding on whom to marry..

Istikhara, in reality, means “to seek goodness from Allah”. One of our weakness as Muslims nowadays is that we have lost our link with our creator Allah (S.W.T). We seem to know it all than the creator, so we won’t consult His guidance before selecting a life partner.

Your spiritual compatibility will influence the quality of your future marriage more than any other factor.

Some people have a good sign or feeling and go against it. Others see a bad sign e.g  a marriage proposal and still go ahead with the marriage only to suffer the consequences. You have ‘sought the good’ from Allah and He, in His infinite mercy and knowledge has pointed out the way. Therefore, to go against this would be to your misfortune.  This is where we can see the wisdom and hikmah of the Holy Quran:

“And it is very possible that you dislike something whereas it is good for you; and (similarly) it is very possible that you like something whereas it is bad for you ”

(Baqarah 16)

There’s nothing like love after marriage. literally , love ends after marriage. all we need after marriage is mercy, endurance, patience and God fearing..  Instead of focusing on our hearts desires, lets focus on what God desires for us; for He’s the only one who knows what best for us.

Lastly, one needs to be patient in terms of receiving the answer to their prayers. Remember the words of our Prophet (SAW),

“The supplication of everyone is granted as long as he does not show haste and does not say that he made a supplication but it was not accepted.” [Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah]

And Allah knows best, He is the All-Seeing, All-Hearing, the best Planner. May He guide us and ease all our difficulties. Ameen


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