SUICIDE NOTE

Suicide!… It’s something I’ve been thinking about; lot lately, Not too seriously, but I have been thinking about it.”..and it really scares me. Every time i try to tell somebody about it, they won’t listen, they keep telling me it’s normal to think about it once in a while. but I do think about it every day, i daydream about it basically. and its beginning to scare me

I am not sure what to do anymore. I am tired and I want to cease to exist. I’m tired of Feeling lonely, Feeling lost, Feeling like I’ve been left behind, Feeling that no one wants to speak with me. I’m tired of hating myself. I haven’t sought any help from a counselor or therapist since, I haven’t had the time (balancing school, work and time for myself because I get drained when I’m around other people). But I feel that each day it scares me because the thought of death starts to look more satisfying everyday. 

I’ve booked appointments for counselors twice now and I’ve missed each appointment, that’s another disappointment. But maybe, just maybe, I’ll seize that chance to seek help. I don’t know anymore. My preferred method of dying would be jumping off a cliff or a river.I hide my feelings inside. I’m quiet when I’m around other people. I only talk to people who are genuinely kind and nice, or have seen what I’m capable of (i.e. I’m smart but I think I don’t look like it, people judge me because of my appearance, I guess I look like a dumb idiot or maybe I’m so ugly, people seem to think I’m naive and dumb. I don’t understand why.) As I grow older it scares me that I’ll end up alone with not much accomplished.

HELL NO! …… I WANT TO LIVE!

I thought about suicide all the time, and i ask myself  “why should I kill myself?..  And Why do people kill themselves? “… Its seemed too much effort, swallowing all those pills or jumping off things. I found out that these are the possible characteristics that lure people to commit suicide.. 

I think they do it when they can no longer find a reason to keep going. When nothing in their lives is good enough to balance out the bad. And they do it when they no longer have the courage to carry on past some recent painful experience. They commit what is, in the end, a desperate, final call for help, that is hopefully heard in time by someone else.  And what if it’s not heard in time? I ask although I know the answer. Then they die.

People try to say suicide is the most cowardly act a man could ever commit. I don’t think that’s true at all. What’s cowardly is treating a man so badly that he wants to commit suicide.

Victims of suicides seem to  think of suicide as a quick route to oblivion, an escape. Far from it. It merely alters a person from one form to another. Nothing can destroy the spirit. Suicide only precipitates a darker continuation of the same conditions from which escape was sought. A condition under circumstances so much more painful. I could never kill myself. When people kill themselves, they think they’re ending the pain, but all they’re doing is passing it on to those they leave behind…

The pain of severe depression is quite unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and it kills in many instances because its anguish can no longer be borne. The prevention of many suicides will continue to be hindered until there is a general awareness of the nature of this pain.

There’s no reason to live, but there’s no reason to die, either. The only way we can still show our contempt for life is to accept it. Life is not worth the bother of leaving it. Out of charity, one might spare a few individuals the trouble of living, but what about oneself? Despair, indifference, betrayal, fidelity, solitude, the family, freedom, weight, money, poverty, love, absence of love, syphilis, health, sleep, insomnia, desire, impotence, platitudes, art, honesty, dishonor, mediocrity, intelligence – nothing there to make a fuss about. We know only too well what those things are made of, no point in watching for them.

Life can be beautiful but it can be painful too. It’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed, alone and hopeless at times. Things like family problems, death, breakups, emotional, physical or sexual abuse and mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, bipolar, depression and anxiety are just some of the contributing factors to feelings of hopelessness. It can often seem like there’s no way out, but there are lots of things you can do to pull yourself through these dark times.

I’m sure we all have dreams of leaving at some time in our lives, but when we reach the bottom, most of us go running home.

anytime you feel depressed or fed up with life, DISTRACT YOURSELF, Go for a walk. Call a friend, Listen to music. Join a football team, Watch a documentaries. Anything. Try and fill your day with as many small activities as you can. Set yourself small goals (it might only be getting a coffee with a friend) and reward yourself once you’ve done them.

TELL SOMEONE, This is a hard step but a really important one. It’s probably the last thing you feel like doing but it can be the point that things start to turn around.  speak to a school counselor or talk to a friend or family member you can trust. It’s possible that friends and family won’t know what to say, or won’t believe you. But keep trying until you find someone who does. Seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist can also be a great way to cope with tough times. 

LIVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE, Good food and a bit of exercise can greatly improve your mood. It’s also important to stay away from drugs and alcohol, as they can make you more impulsive and put you at risk of making bad decisions. Getting drunk or high might also make you feel better, however the feeling is only temporary and chances are you’ll feel a lot worse when you sober up. If you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol and feeling down give us a call and we will listen.

 

(this article is compiled or brought together from different online articles, and not the original ideas of the ‘author’)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s